The snot monster strikes again

Since having my beautiful little Button-Pusher, I’ve become aware of a button that not only do I have, but I never knew existed: the ‘I need to wipe that snotty nose’ button.  Honestly I never even knew this was a thing.  That said, I always knew that seeing a toddler pass by in the street, who had two green caterpillars hanging from their nose, was a sight that made me want to vomit.  But I had no idea that seeing my own child with a grubby nose, would turn me into some kind of heat seeking snot missile with a wet wipe.  And it’s not that looking at it makes me want to hurl.  Nothing about my child does that (which in itself is amazing: though unpleasant, and not something I want to experience everyday, I can and have coped with B-P’s poo on my hands.  And I may once have said something along the lines of, it doesn’t smell that bad).  So it’s not that seeing my gorgeous, smiley, curly haired girl with a grubby, green, crusty blocked nose makes me feel sick.  I just think it looks gross!  And I don’t want to look at it! So I’m pretty sure no one else wants to look at it either.  

Mr Baffled thinks I’m mad and should just leave her nose alone.  I tell him often that I worry she won’t be able to breathe properly.  He tells me that’s a load of bull sh*t, that I know very well she can breathe just fine and that I just want to remove the snot from her nose.  Just between you and I, he’s not wrong. 

Regardless of this admission, I just don’t know how to stop myself regularly diving towards her with a tissue or wipe, declaring with a smile, that she needs to ‘blow like a fox’. *   Invariably she turns her head away and matches my friendly declaration with an angry ‘noooo Mummy!’.  She’ll even push my hand away and run away from me.  It’s become a daily, somewhat futile, battle between us.  In more rational moments I reason that it’s not a battle worth fighting.  That it’s only snot, and that I’m giving my child a complex about having her face touched.  I’ve even recently resorted to repeatedly singing Sing a Song of Sixpence so at the end the blackbird (i.e. me) can “peck off her nose”, and then we fall about laughing.  Haha isn’t Mummy hilarious.  All in a desperate attempt to create a new, positive association with my hand going towards her face.  It appears to be working in that ‘pecking off her nose’  with a little squeeze is allowed.  B-P’s not daft though:  if she sees I’m holding a tissue she still runs for the hills…

As I sit here and type, I reason with myself that it’s rare you see an adult, or even an older child or teenager, with two great green caterpillars hanging from their nose, and in fairness to B-P, hers is seldom like this, it’s occasionally just a bit grubby.  So perhaps in time, she’ll grow to dislike that feeling, and learn to wipe and blow her nose herself as she see fit.  So maybe I just  make like Elsa and ‘let it go’ for now?  

Feel free to remind me I said that when I’m next chasing B-P around the house waving a wipe at her face!
 * ‘blow like a fox’ is in reference to the wonderful Julia Donaldson story The Gruffalo.  In the TV version, the fox sniffs with his pointy nose and this delights B-P every time she sees it happen.  Even now if we read the book together, when we get to the part about the fox, she does a little sniff.  I thought that this would help with nose blowing.  I thought wrong.


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