3 (guilty) buttons that have been pushed lately


guiltGuilt

In an attempt to keep the little Button-Pusher happy and remain in the trolley on a recent trip to the supermarket, I supplied her with more kid’s snacks allowable over a day, let alone in one snack time.  Strawberry wriggles, mini gingerbread men, a box of raisons, apple wriggles….  It was the only way to keep her from repeatedly asking to go back to the carpark and look at the trains passing by, “trains mummy trains.  Choo choo trains mummy, that way, that way mummy. Car park mummy trains mummy” ad infinitum…..  I ran out of strength, nay breath, to keep talking about the shopping list, and helping mummy with the shopping, and oo look a watermelon, and what colour is that darling, and resorted to snacks.  I taught my daughter that it’s ok to eat a huge amount of snacks in one go, not just ok, but mummy sanctions it.  Cue one riddled with guilt Mummy for teaching poor snacking habits.  Plus a little bit of added panic that B-P wouldn’t eat her dinner as she was too full of strawberry wriggles…. It says on the packet it’s one of her 5 a day but it’s not an ideal source of fruit really is it?!  Guilty Mummy…


guiltGuilt

B-P climbed up onto the sofa and clambered onto me, declaring loudly that she’d like “a big cuddle with mummy”.  She flung herself around wildly as she climbed, and on a few occasions came dangerously close to knocking my class of water, that was balancing on the arm of the sofa.  I repeatedly told her to ‘please be careful of mummy’s drink.  Don’t knock it off’ and eventually B-P clambered back down and wandered off with a little wave and an adorable, “sorry Mummy”.  I immediately realised that I should’ve moved the drink (from where it never really should have been precariously positioned) and allowed my gorgeous daughter to scale the sofa in search of a big cuddle with Mummy.  I felt awful.  Just awful.  Guilty Mummy…

Guilt

guilt shame embarrassment

During the recent mini heat wave we’ve been having in the UK, there was a day that was particularly hot and both B-P and I were worn out and weary.  It had been a busy day:  ballet, a lunch playdate then a second playdate in the afternoon.  By the time we went home for B-P’s dinner and wind down before bath time, I was over heated and drained of energy.  She ate just a little food (really who wants to eat when the mercury is pushing 30c), and then had that second wind she often gets in the evening, just before she begins the ‘I’m avoiding going to bed’ dance.  “Get my train set out Mummy?  Please Mummy, Mummy play too?”  I was in no mind to crawl around on the floor choo-chooing and instead opted for putting Thomas the Tank Engine on the TV, episode after episode.  We lay out on the sofa together, B-P watching more episodes of Thomas in one go than ever before, and me being a lazy Mummy with just about enough energy to hit play.  By the time bedtime rolled around I realised I’d been a Mummy who had not played with her child and allowed far too much screen time.  Guilty Mummy…

Hmmm…. Bit of a theme here eh Mrs Baffled?  Guilty Mummy!  In all of the above situations, it wasn’t actually B-P pushing my guilt button.  I was doing that myself knowing I was resorting to an easy option, rather than putting in the effort that I felt I should.  B-P was just being herself:  a toddler.  Now that said, we should all be a bit kinder to ourselves from time to time and allow ourselves the odd selfish Mummy moment.  It’s what keep us sane I think.  So!  I will go to the supermarket on my own or do an online shop.  And I will switch the fan on, cool down, and sit on the floor to play trains if my sweet beautiful daughter says “Mummy play too?”  Well let’s be honest: I might not always do those two but I will certainly endeavour to.

But I will always, always, allow my little girl to clamber up on me if she’s after ‘a big cuddle with Mummy’, and if the glass of water spills, it spills.  It’s just water.

Screen Shot 2015-07-06 at 21.09.34

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